The only diet I've ever stuck with ...

I like to think I'm pretty good with money. I set a budget and I tend to stick to it. But I had a bit of an indiscretion this fall. The bonus offer on the Southwest credit card has been calling to me for years now, and I finally signed up. And while I was totally willing to use my credit card instead of cash for three months to get those sweet bonus points, it was harder for me to stay on-budget without actual cash in hand. It wasn't a spending free-for-all (and I have several free flights in my future, so WORTH IT), but now I want to get back on track.

How am I going to do that? By joining the January Money Diet! Eliza of Happy Simple Living is a dear friend of my mom's, and an all-around amazing woman, and she hosts this annual challenge. The goal is to eliminate all unnecessary spending for one month.

I've done the diet twice (or three times?) previously, and it can be tough. But we're not talking "how many days in a row can I eat ramen?" tough, I promise. Eliza walks you through the month with tips to make it fun and several thought-provoking posts. It really made me watch where I put my money, and consider if I was getting the best use out of it.

ADDED BONUS: Each time I've done the money diet, I've saved around $500, and that's a nice chunk of change. I paid my biannual car insurance one year, and used it to start a "vacation fund" another. I'm excited to try it again as a single person, and I hope you'll join me. You can sign up here. Cheers to starting the new year off in a mindful manner!

I Fucking Love Amy Schumer

Over the weekend, I went to Nashville. Primarily to see Amy Schumer, because she's on tour yet not coming to Denver. Also to hang out with a delightful friend of mine, and eat good food, and have fun. I typed this up on my phone immediately after her show. I was going to edit it to turn it into a cohesive blog post, but it makes me chuckle as-is, so I'm just gonna post it. 

I fucking love Amy Schumer. More than Amy or Tina or Mindy or Lena, I feel like we're on the same page. She's smart and vulgar, and I think she might be a secret bitch, like I am. Like we're not totally mean to people, but we're judging you. So hard. We don't have ill will, but that's a fucking stupid sweater. Biiiiitch.

I went to see her in Nashville, and she just killed it. She was talking about how guys don't care if you gain 10 lb. Their primary focus is putting their dick in your asshole, and you're wondering "Should I get highlights?" Men do not fucking care. When she won that award at the Women of the Year event and said "I'm probably, like, 160 pounds right now and I can catch a dick whenever I want" it was like yaaaas, queen. I weigh like 100 lb more than I did in college, when I didn't think I was cute enough to have sex with, and I can get some whenever I want. Let it go, let it gooooo. You are worthy, and there's nothing wrong with you.

I should mention: I went to Nashville by myself. I also did this Labor Day weekend, and I felt suuuper self-conscious. This time around, I kinda love being solo. I walked down Broadway, then found a pub in Printers Alley to have a cider and a fucking delicious beet and goat cheese salad.

My point (or one of them; this is a mess even though I'm totally sober) is that you shouldn't be afraid to do things by yourself. I've hesitated to RSVP to events or buy tickets for things cuz I didn't want to go alone, and I'm really done with that. Treat yo'self and have a great time. It's not sad. It'd be sad if I were at home, wishing I was doing something fun. Not that staying home is bad; there are nights where I want nothing more to watch Hulu in bed. Lots of nights. But don't let the absence of a partner stop you from living your life.

Why are people still allowed to smoke indoors? So gross.

The Return of Confession Wednesday

The hilarious Kathy has resurrected Humpday Confessions, so I must join! Let's jump right in.

FIRST: There is a radio station in Denver that does Confession Wednesday, and has for years. So even though I know this linkup is called Humpday Confessions, it will forever be Confession Wednesday to me. Same same.

- Speaking of not knowing the names of things, I love the show Silicon Valley. However, whenever I tell anyone how cool it is, I call it Workaholics, a show I have never seen. EVERY. TIME.  Some of my friends have even started watching Workaholics on my recommendation. Oops.

- I saw this Dad Joke Survivors thing on Facebook the other day, and I laughed way too hard at all the corny jokes. Particularly the constipation one. Also told it to my friend and couldn't even wait for the punchline before I started giggling uncontrollably.

- We let someone go at work a few weeks ago, and (maybe this makes me the worst person ever) I'm really glad. We work so much better as a team without her, and the overall attitude/vibe is more positive. Sorry I'm not sorry?

- The other day I bought Kraft mac and cheese and cookie dough at Target, and the cashier was like "Ooh, your kids are gonna love you tonight!" Nope, no kids at my house, lady. Just poor life choices and a taste for powdered cheese.

That's all I've got for now. Hopefully I be back with more embarrassing facts about myself next week!

The Thing I Remember From Church

I haven't been to church in ages, but when I was growing up, I went regularly. And there was one thing the pastor said each week that stuck with me. After the greeting and announcements, he would say, "Let us quiet our hearts and minds for worship." And while I'm not exactly religious these days (sorry, Jesus), I still really like the concept of intentionally clearing mental and emotional clutter.

A quiet mind is not something that comes easily to me. Sometimes I struggle to finish a sentence because I've already moved on to another thought. When I'm ready for bed at night, I make a conscious effort to stop thinking and focus on sleep, otherwise I'll be up for hours. It's very easy for me to get caught up in my thoughts.

Fortunately, this past weekend allowed me some quiet moments. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't have much planned and had the luxury of lounging in bed each morning. Or the snow that fell Friday evening; a fresh coat of white over everything always gives me a sense of calm. Whatever it was, my heart and mind were at peace, and I remembered some important truths.

- I shouldn't be afraid to tell people that I care about them. In all relationships, but particularly when it comes to romance. It seems like modern dating culture has really embraced apathy, and I'm tired of it. Not telling people how you feel because you want to "keep it casual" or you're afraid they won't feel the same way doesn't make your feelings go away. And stifling them certainly doesn't make me feel good.

- I have an amazing life. I tell myself I should read more, be better informed on current events, find a boyfriend, exercise more, etc. And I'm sure doing those things would enhance my life. But when I sweep out all the shoulds, I find that I am happy with things as they are. Not to get too too hokey on you, but this here country song sums up my feelings pretty beautifully.

I hope that this moment of clarity will shape my outlook as we enter the holiday season, and I will remember to be joyful, show gratitude, and express my love for others. Amid the stressors and frivolity the coming weeks will bring, I would urge you all to take a moment to tune in to what's on your mind and in your hearts. It's powerful stuff.

I'll sign off before things get too preachy up in here. Peace.

That Time I Got Ghosted By CDOT

So, I've been having a relationship with the Colorado Department of Transportation. It all began when they gave me a  sticker that allows me to take the HOV/express lanes fo' free! I have been lucky enough to have one of said stickers for about a year and a half, after about a year on the waiting list (#blessed). It enables me to battle a bit less traffic anytime I need to get anywhere during rush hour, and it was pretty much a life/sanity-saver when I was commuting.

All of the sudden, with no warning, CDOT pulled the plug on our little situation and left me with $38 in toll charges. I've tried calling, emailing, checking in with mutual friends (aka ExpressToll, the company that wants my money) and ... nothing. They are ghosting the shit out of me, and I'm not happy about it. I'm not usually bothered by ghosting in the dating realm (because if you don't care enough to let me know you don't want to see me anymore, we probably weren't a great match to begin with), but this is some bullshit. I need to know WHY, dammit!

I'm now going to move on to happier topics so I don't have a rage blackout. Blergh.

Hulu, I am in love with you right now. The commercial-free option is absolutely worth the extra $4 a month. Also, have you seen Casual? It's one of their original shows, and it's great. Funny, sex-positive, and Mindy's hot sports-agent boyfriend (from The Mindy Project) is in it -- what's not to like? 

I got promoted at work, and it's pretty great. I've been meeting with employees and plotting ways to increase accuracy and efficiency. I can't remember the last time I was this jazzed about my job.

My Entertainment Weekly subscription expired in July, but they haven't stopped sending them to me yet. I'm not mad about it.

Yeah, that's all I got. I am officially the worst at blogging now. 

31.5

I realized yesterday that today is my half-birthday. Which really means nothing. But I remember telling people "I'm seven and a half" when I was younger, and being so proud of those extra six months. "I'm 31 and a half" really doesn't have the same ring to it, I've gotta say.

I had (a purely platonic) dinner with a woman I met on OKCupid last night. She was funny and sweet and we have a million things in common. There are all of these sites to meet romantic partners; why aren't there sites dedicated to making friends? Maybe I'm just awkward, and the rest of you don't need the Interwebs to make friends. Maybe.

I'm trying to make some decisions about what I'd like to do with my life, career-wise. Everything's still up in the air at the moment, but change is afoot, and I'm excited to see how things shake out. Shoutout to Alyssa, whose post about taking a calculated risk was very inspiring to me.

Speaking of posts, here are more things I recently discovered on the Internet:

- Making the Perfect BLT. I don't even eat bacon, but I love that she put some thought into how to make a truly excellent sandwich.

- Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Mindy Kaling, you are just the best.

- Josh Duggar has proven himself to be a real turd, hasn't he? Yikes.

- No Labels, No Drama? While that may be true, it seems to imply that people expect no labels, no feelings. I have feelings for everyone I'm intimate with, even if they're not "I wanna be your girlfriend" kind of feelings. Just because you haven't defined the relationship doesn't mean you should have no regard for your partner, and hiding your feelings is not the path to empowerment.

Someday, I shall share photos and recommendations from my trip to Seattle, but today is not that day. Have a great weekend, y'all!

Something Along the Lines of Bullshit

Quite a while ago, I donated to a Kickstarter campaign for a local filmmaker (like around two years ago? Not sure. But a while). He had a premise and a short film he wanted to expand on, and I thought it was a cool idea.

So now the movie has come out (at least for backers. Not sure that it's available to the public anywhere). I just watched it. And I hate it. Not because it was poorly made, or the story wasn't what I expected. I think I hate it because it was too real.

To summarize, the movie is about a man who gets dumped, is sad for a bit, starts seeing someone new, then dicks out on her after a few dates to go home and hook up with his ex. And eventually get back with said ex. Is that not an objective plot summary? Too bad, it's my blog.

It's the same reason I cannot watch Girls. They're probably mumblecore masterpieces, but I can't take it. I don't need my romcoms to be The Notebook or anything; those kind of movies go to the other extreme and are essentially fairy tales. But what about I Love You, Man? Or Away We Go? I like to see some sort of evolution in my romantic leads. If I wanted to observe an insecure man who still wants to hook up with his ex, I'd just make dates with more of the loons who message me on OKCupid.

I realize that the movies I mentioned above aren't entirely realistic; some people don't grow and just get stuck in the same patterns in all of their relationships. But we're talking about ENTERTAINMENT here, people! The growing and changing and being bold is what makes these movies romantic! There is no romance in stagnation. Blergh.