Over the weekend, I went to Nashville. Primarily to see Amy Schumer, because she's on tour yet not coming to Denver. Also to hang out with a delightful friend of mine, and eat good food, and have fun. I typed this up on my phone immediately after her show. I was going to edit it to turn it into a cohesive blog post, but it makes me chuckle as-is, so I'm just gonna post it.
I fucking love Amy Schumer. More than Amy or Tina or Mindy or Lena, I feel like we're on the same page. She's smart and vulgar, and I think she might be a secret bitch, like I am. Like we're not totally mean to people, but we're judging you. So hard. We don't have ill will, but that's a fucking stupid sweater. Biiiiitch.
I went to see her in Nashville, and she just killed it. She was talking about how guys don't care if you gain 10 lb. Their primary focus is putting their dick in your asshole, and you're wondering "Should I get highlights?" Men do not fucking care. When she won that award at the Women of the Year event and said "I'm probably, like, 160 pounds right now and I can catch a dick whenever I want" it was like yaaaas, queen. I weigh like 100 lb more than I did in college, when I didn't think I was cute enough to have sex with, and I can get some whenever I want. Let it go, let it gooooo. You are worthy, and there's nothing wrong with you.
I should mention: I went to Nashville by myself. I also did this Labor Day weekend, and I felt suuuper self-conscious. This time around, I kinda love being solo. I walked down Broadway, then found a pub in Printers Alley to have a cider and a fucking delicious beet and goat cheese salad.
My point (or one of them; this is a mess even though I'm totally sober) is that you shouldn't be afraid to do things by yourself. I've hesitated to RSVP to events or buy tickets for things cuz I didn't want to go alone, and I'm really done with that. Treat yo'self and have a great time. It's not sad. It'd be sad if I were at home, wishing I was doing something fun. Not that staying home is bad; there are nights where I want nothing more to watch Hulu in bed. Lots of nights. But don't let the absence of a partner stop you from living your life.
Why are people still allowed to smoke indoors? So gross.
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