Confession Wednesday

It's that day of the week again, and I have plenty to confess, so I'll jump right into it.

- I wish I wanted to blog more. I keep doing things that I plan to blog about, but the motivation is not there. But a do have a whole store of material, so at some point there will be some quality posts.

- I've eaten the same thing for lunch (veggie lasagna and green beans) for the past three workweeks. But it's easy and I'm not tired of it yet, so it might just keep happening.

- On Saturday, I tried something that recently became legal in Colorado. Since I'm 30 and I've never been intoxicated/otherwise mind-altered, and it's allowed now, I decided it was time. I'm typically pretty giggly/silly, but this was some next level shit. I feel like Never Been Kissed is a pretty accurate depiction of my behavior. Except I wasn't in public, thank Christ.

- I recently switched phone plans and I have unlimited texts, instead of the 200 I used to have. As a result, I've pretty much texted everyone I've ever met, multiple times. Hopefully this is just a novelty phase and I will stop being one of those annoying people who is perpetually on their phone.

- I was on a conference call at work, and one lady on the call said "I hope that means you'll have a nice, big package for me." The host responded, "Yes, it'll be really nice." I had to mute my line because I was giggling like a middle-schooler.

- Speaking of work, there's a woman I work with who is very secretive about her age, and it bugs me. I figured she was like 65, but she sometimes makes references to growing up that would make her in her 40s. So I finally Googled her ass, and she's 61! Which totally doesn't matter/affect anything at all, I just love knowing because I know she doesn't want me to know.

- I like to quote Kanye West. Not like his songs, but his Twitter/blog rants circa '09. No one ever gets the reference, but I think it's hilarious. Like when something isn't working, I shout "Why won't you let me be great?" Or if I see a gray hair in the mirror, I toss out a "This is some Benjamin Button's shit!" Good times, good times.

I think I've shared a sufficient amount of crazy for one post, so we'll end it there. Anything you'd care to confess?

As usual, linking up with Vodka and Soda for Humpday Confessions!

Confession Wednesday

- I think I might  be going nuts, y'all. Cuz the vivid dreams just keep on coming. I don't know what changed, but every night there is some wack-ass stuff going on in my brain. Last night's dream involved going to a company lunch in a big theater where we ate steak and watched American Indians carve a guitar out of a giant log. And then I got fired for going to lunch instead of doing my work. And the usher who showed me to my seat rubbed my belly and asked how far along I was, then gave me an entire branch of a cherry blossom tree. Pretty sure I'm certifiable.

Me, every morning. Maybe it would be better if I didn't.

- Even in my fantasies, I require men to be taller/larger than me, otherwise I just can't get it up. This came up recently because T. Bob broke my heart by announcing that Mark Ruffalo is only 5'8". I find Mr. Ruffalo devastatingly attractive, but in my head, he was a big ol' man, like 6'3"-6'4". So now that I know he is shorter than me, I will have to find someone new to star in my pretend dalliances. T. Bob thinks this is hilarious, and now we have a game where we Google various celebrities' heights and discuss. For instance, did you know that Jonah Hill is only 5'7"? But Bill Murray is 6'2"? I was also sad to find out that while Jimmy Fallon is indeed taller than I am at 6', he's not the giant I thought he was (perhaps I confused him with Conan? IDK). I cannot have this situation going on, even in my dreams:

- I finally painted the downstairs bathroom (it's been on the to-do list for like six months), and now I realize it is the exact color of an elephant. I had this whole gray-and-purple look going in my head, but I haven't put any of the purple stuff in yet, and all I can think about when I'm in there now is Dumbo. Possibly a bad choice.

- Dresses are my favorite. You look "fancy," but it's so much easier than picking out a full outfit - I don't have to think about which sweater goes with my camisole and whether my pants are long enough to wear with my new shoes, etc. And it's so nice out, like almost 70 degrees! So I am wearing a dress with open-toed shoes to celebrate.  Dresses FTW!

What crazy shiz is going on in your life this week? Linking up with Vodka and Soda for Humpday Confessions!

Confession Wednesday

I kind of love the random factoids that come out in these confession posts. And while I don't have anything particularly naughty to confess, here's some random things I've been thinking about lately:

- I would pay an obscene amount for Honeycrisp apples. They're currently $3.99 a pound at Target, when you can buy other perfectly good apples for like $1.79, but I will totally fork over that much cash for them. Deee-licious.

- For the past few weeks, I've been having very vivid dreams every night. They usually start out pretty realistic, involving something I was thinking about before I went to sleep, and either stay mundane (my boss emails me and I learn I have a lot to do the next day) or go totally off the rails (my dad is trying to murder my friend from high school and I'm trying to help him escape from their house by directing him to different exits). Keeps my non-waking hours interesting, at least.

Source

- I haven't been working out. Like, at all. I just can't bring myself to go to the damn gym. I don't know where this aversion started, but hopefully I get over it soon.

Source

- I've eaten a lot of weird sweets lately, like: Root Beer Float Chips Ahoy (good), Birthday Cake M&Ms (not so good), and this gluten-free, vegan cookie dough I got from Costco (absolutely terrible. There's something about gluten-free stuff that just tastes wrong to me).

- I am clumsy as shit. Last night, I was putting my seat covers back on my car (I washed them in a fit of spring cleaning). I had moved the seat all the way forward to reach the straps in the back, and I could see that, but I still tried to sit down as I normally would. Turns out my ass doesn't fit into the car with the seat pulled up to the steering wheel, and I have a gigantic bruise in the middle of my thigh to remind me of that fact. Eesh.

Linking up with Kat on this wonderful Wednesday! What do YOU have to confess?