America, you great unfinished symphony.

Well, that happened. Trump is going to be president. I did not see it coming. And it hit me hard. I cried on and off all day Wednesday. Thursday, I had pulled myself together a bit, but I definitely was not ready to talk about it. I'm anxious about what the future holds. People are angry and scared, and coming from that place generally does not yield a lot of loving, rational action or compromise. More like fight or flight. And that unpredictability scares me. But I've read a lot and thought a lot and talked to people I love and respect. And here's what I think:

We have to move forward. That's it. This happened, and we need to deal with it. Talk of secession or petitions urging the electoral college to throw it to Hillary aren't really helpful, in my opinion. Neither is violence/rioting/non-peaceful protests. But I understand that people need to work this out on their own, in their own way. So, do you, friends.

But you know what's really not fucking helpful? Assigning blame. Some people are blaming the people who voted for Trump. Some people are blaming the left, for coming up with such a "shitty" candidate in Hillary, and/or for shutting Bernie out. I've been tolerant of people sharing their opinions, but the blame game I cannot. Fucking. Deal. With. Right. Now. Be sad, be angry, be excited, wear a safety pin, but quit assigning blame. I don't care who caused this, it happened. Trying to push responsibility for it onto any one group of people is not going to get us anywhere, and I don't want to hear it.

What I do want to hear about is understanding. I would say tolerance, but the preceding paragraph makes it pretty clear that I'm not all that tolerant. So understanding it is. I know we all have loved ones who don't agree with us. When you're ready (i.e., maybe not when you're all riled up by a news article or Facebook post), reach out to these people. Tell them you want to discuss your differences. Try to see where they're coming from, and talk about what you both want for our country. Chances are, your goals are not that far off -- and if they are, respect that. Agree to disagree. Tell them you love them when the conversation wraps up. I get that it's idealistic as fuck to think this is going to change anything. But I'm going to try it and see what happens. And I would urge you to do the same. I know getting everyone on the same page is probably not going to happen, but right now, it seems like we're not even reading the same book.

This is not to say I think we should be understanding of people who are painting swastikas on storefronts or telling their fellow students to "go back where they came from" or ripping off women's hijabs. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but violence and hate speech are not acceptable, no matter how angry or scared you feel. This is a rough time for a lot of people, but we've got to work through it with as much tenderness and respect as we possibly can.

This isn't eloquent or novel, and you're probably sick of hearing people's opinions about what needs to happen right now. But writing has always been my way of processing things, and I needed to get it out. So please know this: I care about you, and I care about our country. I want to work toward a better future for us. And if you need a bleeding-heart liberal to chat with, I'm your girl.