Going HAM: Off the Wagon

My weekend, in a nutshell. 

Well, it happened. After staying treat-free and keeping up with my workouts for all of January, February has not been going so well. Last week was ... terrible. Not terrible in an overall life sense, but terrible in terms of my following my Going HAM rules and trying to get healthier.

It started with the workouts. I had scheduled a LASIK consultation for Thursday, and they told me not to wear my contacts for as long as possible beforehand. I planned to work out while wearing my glasses (or, like, wear them to the treadmill and then run blind), but in reality, I just didn't work out. I met with my trainer on Wednesday, but that was it. For the whole week.

Then came the food choices. I was doing OK until Thursday night, when I broke into the rest of the Oreos. Then on Friday, I really wanted doughnuts while I was at work. After that, I went crazy. There were Girl Scout cookies, pancakes, peanut butter cups, pizza, and garlic bread. I couldn't stop (or I didn't want to). If I was going to ignore the rules, I was going to ignore them in a big way.

Sunday rolled around, and I felt pretty awful (both physically and psychologically). The junk may have tasted good in the moment, but now I was a bloated mess who felt bad about my utter lack of self-control. I'm not even sure what caused the bender; I wasn't particularly stressed or upset about anything (my usual triggers for overeating), and I didn't have a lot of temptation in my environment. But it happened.

Now, there's nothing to do but move forward. I spent Sunday afternoon meal planning, shopping and prepping my food for the week. I have a little less than two weeks left 'till my birthday, and I'm rededicating myself to stick to the plan until then. I scheduled my workouts, and bought some healthy "treats" (e.g., Greek yogurt with berries) to have in case my sweet tooth flares up. Onward and upward!

Going HAM: An Update

Hola, peeps! Rest assured, I am still alive and didn't forget about this little blog of mine. The past few weeks have been kinda crazy with activities and a couple of projects I'm working on, but I'm hoping I'll be back to regular posting in a few weeks (at the latest). In the meantime, I wanted to stop by and give you a quick update on my HAM objectives. 

No sweets: This part is going really well. I haven't really been tempted -- I even baked a cake for my co-worker's birthday and didn't try it! I've had a few cravings, which I've been able to satisfy with a handful of dried fruit or a Greek yogurt, but for the most part this has been easy.

Keep a food log: This is going OK. I've been keeping up with the log, but the first two weeks I was allowing myself more splurges (pizza, nachos, etc.) than I'd like. Also, since I was consuming a lot more calories last month, I feel hungry A LOT. My body has to get used to eating normal portions again, and that's where I seem to be running into trouble. I eat my allotted healthy meals and snacks and then at 8:30 p.m., I'm hungry again, so I eat a PB&J or chips or whatever snacky thing I have available. Need to work on that this week, for sheez.

Get your workouts in: This has been kind of a struggle. I've been going to the gym five days a week, but the individual workouts have been rough. Like I want to go to bed immediately afterward. And then the next morning I'm so tired I can't imagine going back to the gym. I'm not sure if it's because I've had a low-level cold for the past few weeks, or I'm got out of my intense workout routine and so now they're more challenging, but I am getting my ass kicked on the regular. I'm trying to push through in hopes that it will get easier soon.

Overall, I feel like the plan is working. I'm down eight pounds from January 1 and I feel much better (not overstuffed and bloated like I was for basically all of December). My specific goals (in addition to those above) are as follows:

- Keep splurges to less than 10% (3-4 meals) per week

- Eat extra veggies/protein when you get hungry

- Take your vitamins

This week's workout schedule:

Monday - kickboxing

Tuesday - off

Wednesday - trainer workout

Thursday - sprint intervals

Friday - weights

Saturday - sprint intervals

Things I'm eating this week -- I make recipes on Sunday and eat the same thing every day for a week:

- Scrambled egg whites (and one whole egg) with sauteed spinach, mushrooms, and onions for breakfast

- Yellow Dal from The Happy Herbivore cookbook for lunch

- Salsa Chickpea Lettuce Wraps for dinner

That's all I got. :) Catch y'all on the flip side!

Going HAM

Side note: Shouldn't it be "going HAAM?" I guess Urban Dictionary is no stickler for accurate acronyms. Also, since I don't actually eat ham, maybe this would be more appropriate:

This year, I fell into the the old holiday "give up your workouts, eat a lot of crap, and pack on a few pounds" trap. This was the first year of falling off the bandwagon for me, because I was never ON the bandwagon in years prior. Not working out and eating whatever I wanted was just my lifestyle, holidays or not. Also, I was going through some shit in November, so I didn't really eat well or work out that month, either. I can't even fully blame the holidays.

As a result, I've lost strength and gained about 10 pounds. I was kinda planning on the reverse of that scenario happening, so I've had a wake-up call and realized I need to get my shit together before I gain another 10. So from now (really January 1, but I'm terrible at timely blog posts) until February 21, I'm going HAM. I'm going to give it my all to move toward fitness for these 52 days.

Why February 21? It just so happens to be my 30th birthday. And I would like to ring in the new decade of my life feeling my best. Also looking my best, because I'm headed to the beach for a week the day after said birthday. Lastly, I just want to. I finally have some motivation back, so I'm going to make hay while the sun shines and get more regimented while the desire to do so is there.

My rules for going HAM:

- No sweets. This means no cakes, cookies, froyo, candy, etc. I can still have fruit and even non-sweet splurges (e.g., a slice of pizza or French fries) on occasion, but I'm cutting out sweets altogether. It's often just easier for me to do all or nothing; I find if I allow myself treats sometimes it quickly becomes all the time.

- Keep a food log. My trainer designed a log I like, where I'm not logging specifically what I eat, just if the meal was compliant (there's a few criteria, but the focus is on veggies and lean proteins with limited carbs), with symbols for treats and after-workout meals. It's faster than keeping a full log and allows me to easily monitor how many splurges and workouts I've had.

- Get your workouts in. I try to work out five days a week (2-3 days each of cardio and lifting), so I definitely want to do that, but even on my rest days, I want to go for a walk outside or do a yoga DVD. Something that keeps me in the mobile mindset.

So, that's the plan. I decided to share it with y'all for accountability. If I'm the only one who knows the plan, it's a lot easier to stop following it. But if I let y'all in on it, I'll feel guilty if (or when; let's be real) I want to quit. I suppose you could call this my New Year's resolution, but it's not really anything I haven't done before, I'm just resolving to get back to business. Side note, part 2: Whenever I say "the plan" in any context, I think of that scene in 10 Things I Hate About You where she shows "the plan" to her soccer coach. Every. Single. Time. Probably cuz I watched that movie about once a week during most of my formative years.

Now that you've seen "the plan," tell me: Did you let your fitness slide over the holidays? And if so, are you dedicating (or re-dedicating) yourself to eating well and working out this month?

Guest Post: An Expert Learner

Happy Hump Day, y'all! Can you believe Christmas is one week away? Craziness. As you know, I've been participating in the Elf 4 Health challenge for the past few weeks, which has been a really fun experience. Today's challenge is Share Your Expertise, and an elf had the idea to organize a blog swap so we can share our tips with a new audience. So without further ado, I'm going to turn things over to Danielle from Running Mom to 3 so she can drop some knowledge.

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Hey guys!

A big thanks to Laura and our Elf for Health challenge for giving me this opportunity.

I'm Danielle, I'm a wife and stay at home mama to 3- Madison, 9, Noah, 5, and Lydia, 15 months.

I blog over at Running Mom to 3. I'm fairly new to the blog scene, and I am loving it! I started writing back in April when I started running, and have continued to document my running journey as well as sprinkle in some proud mama moments.

Our Elf for Health challenge for today is to share our expertise. Since honesty is my policy, I had a hard time deciding what to share. Before I quit my public accounting job 2 years ago, I would have definitely given you a laundry list of year end tax saving ideas. But now, I'm so far out of that game, I couldn't even give you one good tax savings idea.

The only thing I know for sure that I am an expert at is learning.

I like to cook. Every time I step into my kitchen to make my family a meal, I am learning how to become a better cook. I'm learning when to keep my stovetop heat down, and when it's okay to turn it up. I'm learning what will cook better in my nonstick skillets and what will cook better in my stainless skillets (can we say nonstick for the win?!). Sure, I have made my fair share of rubbery chicken or burnt potatoes, but I've also made a few great dishes.

I dabble in photography. I'm nowhere near a good photographer. But every time I pick up my camera to capture a moment or a smile, I am learning how to capture the moments better tomorrow. I have to smile to myself when my picture comes out with little to no editing needed, knowing all that reading has paid off.

I like to run. I may even be considered a runner to some. Each day that I run, I learn how far I can push my body. I also learn to push myself more tomorrow. I continue to be amazed at how strong I have gotten since April. I love adding new workouts into my workout schedule so that I can run longer, faster, further. I will consider myself a runner when I stop getting faster, hopefully that will be a title I always work towards.

Most importantly, I strive daily to be the best wife and mom. I used to I wake up everyday with great intentions of being the best wife and mom. Every night, I would go to bed discouraged about how horribly I failed at being "the best." Now, I wake up striving to be what my husband and my kids need, and I go to bed thinking about how I can be better tomorrow. I am learning from yesterday.

You can learn a lot from Google, and I have. But sometimes, the most important lessons to learn can't be Googled. I am an expert in learning, and I will get up ready to learn tomorrow.

"Tell me and I forget, teach me and I remember, involve me and I learn." - Benjamin Franklin

"Learning is not attained by chance, it must be sought for with ador and attended to with diligence." - Abigail Adams

Getting my Elf on

I've been slacking a little bit on the health front lately. My motivation is MIA and I have been eating all of the carbs, mostly in the form of baked goods. And since the holidays are nearly upon us, the availability of treats is only going to increase. So I'm trying to switch things up in order to get back on track.

Starting today, I'll be participating in the the Elf for Health holiday challenge hosted by Lindsay and Elle. In a nutshell, there's a daily health-related challenge, and you have a "buddy" to correspond with for encouragement and accountability. Today's challenge is "go meatless" which is painless, since I already do that every day. But I'm excited to see how I do with the other challenges and to have the support of health-minded pal.

Registration for this round has closed, but if you want to take part, you can register for the second round anytime before December 6. Hopefully this added component will do the trick and get me excited about staying healthy again!

The Mile

The Mile and I have long, terrible history. I never really liked gym class growing up, but I was generally OK with standing in the outfield while we played kickball or rolling my scooter around the gym for Capture the Flag. But then Presidential physical fitness testing would roll around, and with it came The Mile. And you can't hide from The Mile. I would dread its approach, suffer through while psyching myself out and hyperventilating when I got a stitch in my side, and collapse in a heap at the finish after about 15-20 (mostly walked) minutes. Not my proudest moments.

I put off taking gym in high school until my senior year, and then I was the only upperclassman grouped in with the state cross-country champion and several other athletic 14-year-olds. I started training outside of class, not wanting to make a total fool of myself for once. So I went to the track a few times a week in the dark of night and ran a mile. But I am sweaty sweater, so even though I knew I could run a mile, I phoned it in to avoid smelling funky and having terrible hair for the rest of the day following my second-period run.

Flash forward a decade or so, and I'm past the point of caring about the sweat face. I will be grosser than the burliest dude at the gym when I'm done working out, but at least I worked out. I've been running intervals (30 seconds jog/30 seconds walk) on the treadmill lately, and it's been going pretty well (no knee pain, no feeling like death afterward). So it occurred to me that I should try to face down The Mile. I figured it couldn't be that bad; even with walking half the time I was doing a mile in less than 15 minutes, so I figured I could just average my walking and running paces and crank that baby out in a reasonable amount of time.

Well, logic pulled through and I ran a full mile on Saturday morning, for the first time in ... 11 years? My time was 11:35, which I realize is not impressive, but I think it's probably my PR. I walked it out afterward and am feeling pretty good now, except for the lung thing. You know, when your heart rate gets really high and then it stirs up all the crap in your lungs and you feel like you have the worst cold for a few days? Yeah, that is happening.

Despite the coughing issues, I'm pretty excited about this new development. I've always wanted to be the type of person who goes for casual runs, and I feel like that's at least in the realm of possibility now. I'm toying with the idea of signing up for a spring 5K, just to have something to work toward. I think this is the start of something good.

the best-laid plans ...

I am a planner, to the core. I pick out my outfit the night before, book vacations six months in advance, etc. I just feel like everything goes more smoothly if I can prepare for it. I can usually go with the flow as long as nothing too far out of the ordinary happens, but I like to have a general idea of what's coming at me at all times.

This is particularly true when it comes to health and fitness stuff. My best weeks are ones where I can shop/do food prep on Sundays, and there are no obligations standing in the way of my regular workouts. Any added stress or changes to the schedule, and lord knows what's going to happen, despite the best of intentions. I've gotta to stick to my routine.

But shit happens, and life doesn't always go according to plan. Things are a little out of the ordinary for me right now, and I'm struggling to find a new routine that fits my current schedule and still helps me reach my goals. I freaked out initially and had a lot of thoughts like "Oh no, I'm going to go back to how I was. Whenever I get stressed out, I can't keep it together." It seems so easy to throw in the towel and go back to eating a box (a bag? a package, let's say) of Oreos because I'm hungry and stressed and they're delicious.

But after a few days (and more than a few Oreos, let's be real), I had an epiphany: I will only go back to how I was if I decide to do so. Yes, there are things in life that are out of my control. But how I react to them is totally up to me. So I'm trying to keep it together, despite my pattern of falling apart. Yes, I'm stressed and hungry and not in the mood to eat my usual healthy snacks. So maybe I should have an apple to curb my sweet tooth and take some deep breaths. And remember that what I want now should not take precedence over what I want most.

Workouts are easier than food, because my body seems to crave exercise after doing it regularly for a while. If I take a few days off, I'm stiff and lethargic. So I'm trying to get it in wherever I can – walking on my lunch break, doing pushups during commercials, and going hard when I do get to the gym. Making whatever I can do count, basically.

I'm also trying to strike a balance between not caring at all and caring so much that it stresses me out. I'm sure I will have slip-ups (see Oreo incident above), but I'm trying not to dwell on my indiscretions. I just have to take it day by day and do my best. Do y'all have any tips for staying on track when things get crazy?

Losses and Gains

I've gone back and forth about whether I wanted to write about this. It's more comfortable to keep things superficial, to write about TV shows and treats and good times. But what's the point of a blog if you can't share your deepest insecurities with all of your friends (and probably some strangers)? So I'm going to go there.

I'm fat. The short version of my story is that I've been fat since middle school, to varying degrees. Every few years, I would get motivated and either diet or start working out on the regular, and some weight would drop off. But I've never been able to maintain a healthy weight for my size (per BMI standards).

I wanted to be OK with being a big girl. I am who I am, and I should embrace it, right? But I felt awkward being bigger than all of my girlfriends and embarrassed when I couldn't shop at "normal" (i.e., not plus-size) clothing stores. But more than that, I wanted to be athletic. I literally fantasized about going for a run around my neighborhood (and not dying afterward) or taking a hike with friends on the weekend.

December 2010

So, in 2011, I joined a gym. But after dropping 25 pounds initially, the weight loss stalled. And then reversed itself completely, after I started a new job that included a long commute and lots of stress. I kept working out, and even upped my intensity, but I couldn't figure out why I wasn't making progress. It finally occurred to me that  I would never be truly healthy or lose weight with any permanence unless I changed my diet.

I went vegan in 2008, so I wasn't eating a lot of fast food or things you would typically consider "junk," but I'm a carboholic. I love bread, pasta, candy, cake – really anything baked or sugary, and I'm in. All in. I can polish off a box of Oreos in 24 hours, no problem. But – although delicious – it didn't make me feel good.

In May, I started meeting with a nutritionist/trainer and realized the effects of what I was putting in my mouth. I worked toward cutting out processed foods and simple carbs and focused on vegetables and protein (which included Greek yogurt and cottage cheese, so no more veganism for me. Still don't eat meat, though). Slowly, the weight started coming off. Seeing results motivated me to continue my healthy habits.

Nearly six months later, I'm down 38 pounds, and that feels great. But the number on the scale has become less important to me. I'm focusing less on losing, and more on what I've gained. There are so many things I can do now I could never do before – planks, chin-ups (maybe just chin-up, singular, at this point), burpees, etc. I feel capable and powerful, and that only makes me want to be more capable and powerful. And I actually look forward to working out! I'm excited to get up and go to Turbo Kick every Saturday morning, and I schedule other plans around my set workouts.

October 2013

I've really tried to look at this as a lifestyle change and not a diet (cliche, I know), because it's not something I'm going to be done with when I reach a certain size or weight. I finally understand that I have to keep eating well and working out for the rest of my life to feel my best. But it's still a struggle sometimes. I love to bake, and while I know I can't eat a cake every weekend like I used to, it's been difficult to give that hobby up completely. But now I make a treat, pre-portion out a few servings, and give the rest away. Or, if we go out for pizza, I'll have 1-2 slices and eat a salad on the side. It's not about being perfect, it's about making better choices. So I try to keep it to a few "splurge meals" each week.

Another part of this has been accepting myself for who I am. My penchant for treats may mean I'll never be a thin person, but I can still be strong and fit whilst indulging in the occasional cookie. I can embrace my thunder thighs, because I worked hard to build those muscles. I can get excited about how much I can bench press or the fact I can almost do a pistol squat without assistance. So that's what I'm gonna do. It's not always fun, but I have a feeling it's worth it. :)

Side note: I'm not trying to fat-shame anyone in any way. Everyone is different, and I know there are myriad reasons why people are heavy, and I'm not trying to fault anyone for it. I'm happier when I'm healthier (and at my heaviest I was certainly not physically nor emotionally healthy), so that's what I'm working toward. And if you're in the same boat (or were, or want to be), I'd love to hear from you! I'm always down to share stories, workout ideas, recipes, etc.