I Hate Children (including yours)

Just kidding, friends. But it does seem like any time I make a comment about children or parenting, at least one person takes it that way. Just because I don't have (or want) children doesn't mean I hate them. Some of my best friends have kids, and I like hanging out with them (is that the same as the "I'm not racist, some of my best friends are black!" defense? Oh, lord.) I think kids are fun, and funny, and if you have a rotund baby/toddler, I will be quite smitten. Chubby cheeks FTW!

That being said, I do think there are a few places where kids just should not be. Like, ever. Even if they are the most well-behaved, chill kids on the planet. These places include:

- Breweries: I equate this to bringing kids to a bar. There is nothing here for kids. They don't serve food, and most don't even serve any non-alcoholic beverages. In fact, the whole point of the place is for adults to sit around and drink adult beverages. Heck, as a light drinker, I get bored at breweries sometimes. So what about it would be entertaining/enjoyable for your children?

To be clear, no problem with the breastfeeding, cuz that's natural.
What's not natural is your kid being at a brewery IN THE FIRST PLACE.

- Movies: Let me start off by saying, not all movies. Family-friendly movies, I expect to be loud and full of kids who are not thrilled about sitting still in the dark for 90 minutes. Not a problem. But bringing your infant to a 9:30 p.m. show of an R-rated movie? No queen. Wait for the Redbox. I also have a particularly vivid memory of watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 (which, while technically a kids' series, is rated PG-13) and being distracted during the final face-off between Harry and Voldemort because a toddler was traipsing up and down the stairs next to me in her flip-flops. I didn't pay $12 to listen to that thwap-thwap-thwap noise while waiting to see what Harry's fate will be. Kids aren't the only ones behaving badly at the movies, but I don't feel comfortable shaming children as I do my peers (I'm the one stage-whispering "PUT YOUR PHONE AWAY!" to any adults being turds. Sorry I'm not sorry).

- Nail salons: Similar to the brewery situation, there is nothing here for kids. Unless, of course, they're also getting a mani-pedi. Then I have no beef. But if you brought you kid and expect them to hang out while you get pampered for 45 minutes? I've never seen a kid who was able to make that work. But I have seen kids who entertained themselves by splashing their hands around in my footbath, which kinda killed the whole relaxing vibe.

Essentially, don't bring your kids places that are fun for you and not for them. Sure, you've gotta take them to the dentist and the grocery store and on planes, and they might not enjoy that, but it's necessary. Having them tag along to your recreational/relaxation activities is not. So for their sake (and mine), please leave them at home.

Things I'm Loving Lately

In no particular order, here are some things I've been enjoying:

Imposters: I think I saw an ad/blurb about this show on Entertainment Weekly and thought I'd give it a shot. Six episodes later and I am IN IT, y'all. It's about a woman who marries wealthy people and then drops off the face of the earth after stealing all their money. It has kept me guessing with the plot twists, but it's still frothy enough to be fun. Also, the lead actress (Inbar Lavi) is so stinkin' pretty. I like her face.

Homeland: Obviously not a new show, but Homeland is on its game this season. I loved it in the beginning, then there were a few seasons where it was just kinda off. But it is back now, and I'm obsessed. The Carrie/Quinn dynamic is very compelling, I like the struggles of the president-elect (who is female -- apparently I'm not the only one who thought Hillary was gonna take it), and Dar Adal is creepier/more devious than ever.

Torrid: I've been in Torrid before, but it didn't really seem like my kinda place. I gave it a second look recently after hearing you can buy big-girl bras there, and I was pleasantly surprised. Not only do they have bras that can contain the girls (and I happened to go when they were on sale for $30), but some cute clothes and good sales (buy one, get two free on all clearance -- yaaas, queen!). I scooped these up, along with some bro-y workout tanks and other clearance tops:

Dress

Sweatshirt

Massage: I decided to treat myself for my birthday and bought a year of monthly massages. I had my second one earlier this week, and it was so nice. It keeps me more relaxed and works out some of the kinks I acquire while living life because old. Definitely a good investment.

What's been putting a smile on your face lately?

Time for an update

... of my "about me" page. Because YIKES.

There's nothing really wrong with it, but it's not a reflection of who I am anymore. For one, that photo was taken 4+ years, several inches of hair, and many pounds ago. By my ex-husband, at my old house, neither of which I've seen since 2014. So, yeah, outdated.

Aside from that, it's just so freakin' earnest. And basic. It reminds me of pretty much every profile I've ever seen on Bumble BFF (yeah, I've tried to meet new girlfriends on Bumble. It's not really panning out).

Back in the day (circa 2012, when that was written), I think I was really afraid of turning people off by swearing, or ranting (two of my favorite things), or talking about anything that might not be all sunshine and rainbows. I also may have had delusions of grandeur regarding this blog, that it would somehow "take off" and become a source of income for me. (Tangent: I should've known that this was not to be, based on the time I interviewed for a magazine job I was not at all qualified for. Part of the interview was putting together a short article about antler chandeliers based on the info from the press release. I sat there in panic mode for about 30 minutes before writing some completely terrible copy about how the rustic beauty of the chandelier would be a charming addition to any mountain home. No queen.)

But now that I've been reading these things for a while, it seems like many blogs that are monetized aren't all that interesting. It takes a special touch to make sponsored posts seem interesting and authentic, and I definitely don't have it. So I'll just make money at my job and save this space for whatever the fuck I feel like. And revise my bio page accordingly.

This is not important. And that's OK.

I never blog anymore. Not because I don't enjoy it or don't have anything to say. But every time I come to this space to share my thoughts, I get really caught up in whether I'm saying anything new or interesting, or whether I am being fair and considering all angles.

While those are typically important things, like, for life, I realized that this doesn't have to be perfect. I started writing here to catalog who I was and what I was doing. Not to highlight the latest lifestyle trends or share my brilliant insights on race relations/politics/etc. So I'm going to get back to that. It might be trivial or uninformed, but it's me. The End.

JK. That would be a new low for posts, even for me.

So, what's up with you? I'm still adjusting to life in Trump's America. Not that my everyday life is really affected by his presidency, but it's been a journey to find the right balance of reading news and staying informed and engaged, and not, you know, losing hope for humanity. I'm still working that out, really. But I've been trying to focus on the smaller stories, of people being kind and learning to be compassionate and understanding. That gives me hope that we will work through this as a country and not just implode. This American Life has been crushing these kinds of stories lately. Give it a listen, if you're so inclined.

Outside of that whole situation, life has been good lately. I went to Hot Sulphur Springs last weekend and vegged out in the water for about eight hours. It's smelly (because sulphur), but it's relaxing and pretty affordable and only two hours from Denver, so I'd recommend it. Also, there's a restaurant called The Glory Hole just down the road, and that seems like it's worth a visit.

I've been to a bunch of good restaurants lately, my favorites being City, O' City and Sugar Mill (because how could I not love a place with sugar in the name?). I also tried out Denver Restaurant Week for the first time this year, and I was ... underwhelmed. I don't know if I'm not a fan of fine cuisine, or upscale places just aren't great at making vegetarian entrees, but I was not blown away by anything. And I didn't take any photos, because I feel like theeee biggest turd when I take photos of my food nowadays. Bad blogger, I know.

Speaking of bad blogging (it's today's topic), I recently read a post on another blog about how to make an attractive Instagram account, and the writer suggested having a theme. Your most recent nine posts should be somewhat cohesive, to give visitors an idea of what you're about. As it turns out, I'm about all sorts of things:

Should my theme be treats? Or dogs? Or how to
take a super-flattering selfie while getting your hair highlighted?

I'm not knocking her advice by any means; it makes sense, and I'm sure it works. But I've never been able to settle on just one area of focus (hence why this blog is called Life of Laura - it's all the things).  Blogging was the best for me back in the Livejournal days, when I just wrote about my life and didn't think about readership or including photos or sticking to a theme. So I'm not going to. And that's OK.

I Got Here as Fast as I Could

I wrote this more than a week ago. Then decided it was whiny and I didn't need to post it. But it keeps coming up, so I'm posting about it. Obviously, this is my opinion, because it's my blog, and everything I say here represents me.

The Women's March has become this shockingly divisive event, and I'm really baffled by that. I marched here in Denver, and it was a totally positive experience. I loved seeing people of all ages, genders, and races gather together. There was definitely some anti-Trump sentiment, but a lot of pro signs as well. Pro-equality, pro-kindness, pro-education. Pro-liberty and justice for all. I was overwhelmed by the feeling of unity and reassurance that there are still people in the world who are willing to speak out against injustice, and I felt comforted knowing I'm not alone in my concern for the future of our country.

As for those who didn't march, that is their prerogative. No one should do something they're not comfortable doing. And I get that the Washington organizers probably alienated some anti-choice people by removing an anti-choice group as a sponsor. But the vision statement for the Denver march was "We are all relevant, we are all valued, and we are more powerful together." There were signs there I didn't personally agree with, but it didn't take away from my overall enjoyment of the day. It's unfortunate that others didn't feel like they could bring their differing opinions and still participate.

For those who felt the marchers don't know how good they have it and shouldn't be complaining (like Christy from Facebook): inequality is inequality, friends. Just because things aren't "as bad" in the U.S. doesn't mean that inequality is acceptable. And wanting better for ourselves doesn't mean we don't also want better for others. Yes, getting paid less than a man to do the same job is not as horrific as women being tortured for showing skin or disobeying their husbands, but that doesn't mean it's OK, either. 

The first two I can just brush off. But for the women of color who feel that white women are late to the party and cannot be trusted (see here and here, and also this): I have so many feelings about this. The first thing that comes to mind is bumper stickers. In Colorado, stickers that say "NATIVE" on the Colorado license plate backdrop are quite popular. But there's a newer sticker that says "Not a native, but I got here as fast as I could." Yes, it's true, I've never gotten involved in the past. I wasn't promoting injustice, but I wasn't working to stop it, either. But I'm here now, and I want to help. And it's disheartening to be told that I'm not doing it right, or that my involvement is somehow disrespectful to those who've been working at it for a while. Everyone is on their own journey, and we arrive at places in our own time.

I also take issue with the fact that white women as a whole are the problem. The women taking selfies in their pussyhats aren't my tribe. I'm fairly anti-selfie. I didn't really feel like the march was about me -- it was about coming together and standing up for our rights. So maybe I'm not one of "those" white women, and I resent being grouped in with them. On the other hand, I don't want to let that criticism deter me. I'm not going to stop showing up. I'm willing to listen and learn, and I want to do what I can to move America forward. Maybe I'll step further outside my comfort zone and be one of those nice white ladies at the next Black Lives Matter march.

America, you great unfinished symphony.

Well, that happened. Trump is going to be president. I did not see it coming. And it hit me hard. I cried on and off all day Wednesday. Thursday, I had pulled myself together a bit, but I definitely was not ready to talk about it. I'm anxious about what the future holds. People are angry and scared, and coming from that place generally does not yield a lot of loving, rational action or compromise. More like fight or flight. And that unpredictability scares me. But I've read a lot and thought a lot and talked to people I love and respect. And here's what I think:

We have to move forward. That's it. This happened, and we need to deal with it. Talk of secession or petitions urging the electoral college to throw it to Hillary aren't really helpful, in my opinion. Neither is violence/rioting/non-peaceful protests. But I understand that people need to work this out on their own, in their own way. So, do you, friends.

But you know what's really not fucking helpful? Assigning blame. Some people are blaming the people who voted for Trump. Some people are blaming the left, for coming up with such a "shitty" candidate in Hillary, and/or for shutting Bernie out. I've been tolerant of people sharing their opinions, but the blame game I cannot. Fucking. Deal. With. Right. Now. Be sad, be angry, be excited, wear a safety pin, but quit assigning blame. I don't care who caused this, it happened. Trying to push responsibility for it onto any one group of people is not going to get us anywhere, and I don't want to hear it.

What I do want to hear about is understanding. I would say tolerance, but the preceding paragraph makes it pretty clear that I'm not all that tolerant. So understanding it is. I know we all have loved ones who don't agree with us. When you're ready (i.e., maybe not when you're all riled up by a news article or Facebook post), reach out to these people. Tell them you want to discuss your differences. Try to see where they're coming from, and talk about what you both want for our country. Chances are, your goals are not that far off -- and if they are, respect that. Agree to disagree. Tell them you love them when the conversation wraps up. I get that it's idealistic as fuck to think this is going to change anything. But I'm going to try it and see what happens. And I would urge you to do the same. I know getting everyone on the same page is probably not going to happen, but right now, it seems like we're not even reading the same book.

This is not to say I think we should be understanding of people who are painting swastikas on storefronts or telling their fellow students to "go back where they came from" or ripping off women's hijabs. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but violence and hate speech are not acceptable, no matter how angry or scared you feel. This is a rough time for a lot of people, but we've got to work through it with as much tenderness and respect as we possibly can.

This isn't eloquent or novel, and you're probably sick of hearing people's opinions about what needs to happen right now. But writing has always been my way of processing things, and I needed to get it out. So please know this: I care about you, and I care about our country. I want to work toward a better future for us. And if you need a bleeding-heart liberal to chat with, I'm your girl.

Twenty sixteen.

Oh, hey! Remember when I actually wrote things here? Like, a lifetime ago? So long ago I don't even look like that little bio picture to the right of this post anymore? I do. And I miss it. I'm not going to say I'm going to start posting regularly again, because I've said it before and I never follow through. But I'd like to be here more than once every nine months, at least. I could've had a baby in the time since my last post! (I didn't, of course, because ... not happening. But just, you know, for example).

While I did not gestate any offspring, I did do some other things. I will make a handy-dandy bulleted list to summarize:

- In February, I went back to Isla Mujeres, Mexico with my mom and sister. It was just as amazing as the first trip. Lots of the same sun and fun, although this year we ventured to a water park, where I tried stand-up paddleboarding (or sit-down paddleboarding, in my case) and embarrassed myself on a seemingly tame waterslide. That makes it sound like a struggle, but it was actually hilarious and memorable.

Best beach ever.

- In June, I went to ATX Festival in Austin, Texas. While the weather was highly unpleasant and I was a literal hot mess the entire time, the festival itself was probably the coolest thing I've ever done. I went to screenings/Q&As for shows I love, discovered new shows to watch, met other TV nerds, and got to listen to some really interesting panel discussions on the importance of representation on TV and such. And I PASSED CONNIE BRITTON walking down the street and maybe freaked out a little bit. I didn't want to bother her (she was with Adrienne Palicki and they appeared to be looking for something/someone) so I just called out "love you!" as I passed. Cuz I'm smooth like that. Plus, I got to hang with a childhood pal of mine who is just delightful, so ... great trip. I already bought my badge for next year if any of you fellow TV-lovers want to meet up.

The cast and creators of Casual talking about the show.

- I bought a condo in July! The Denver real estate market is QUITE cray, but after weeks of searching and many rejected offers, I found a home to call my own. It's a cozy little one-bedroom with wood floors and a giant bathtub, and I love it. And I love decorating without having to compromise with a romantic partner (AKA a dude). Pink comforter and seafoam-green couch for the win! And that green couch is a pull-out, so feel free to come and visit and enjoy some luxury accommodations.

I think that's it for highlights at the moment. But I shall return.